


The First Fallen Human

by astralpenguin



Series: Humans Underground [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Chara hates humanity, Forgone Conclusion, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Misgendering, Non-Binary Chara, Pre-Canon, Reader Is Chara, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7528747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralpenguin/pseuds/astralpenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over time, Asriel and the human became like siblings.</p>
<p>The King and Queen treated the human child as their own.</p>
<p>The Underground was full of hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Survived, Now What?

Pain

All you can feel is pain.

It takes a few moments for everything to come back to you. If you’d known there was a possibility of surviving that fall, you’d have taken that into account.

And now your leg feels like it could be broken. _Fuck._

You slowly bring your hands underneath you and push yourself up. There’s blood on the ground. Great.

You hiss as you bend your legs, getting ready to stand. It hurts, but you feel like you can now say that they are _not_ broken. Which is a plus.

The standing, however, doesn’t work and you fall back onto the ground.

“I think it came from over here...” you hear a voice say. There are people down here? You’d heard that people who climbed the mountain never returned, but you’d assumed that was because they all died. Maybe they’d just gotten trapped down here? Being stuck with more _humans_ is not ideal, but you’ll be away from your village so you suppose you’ll take it.

The source of the voice now sounds much closer to you, “Oh! You’ve fallen down, haven’t you...” You look up at the person speaking. What you see is a shock. You don’t see a person, but instead a small bipedal goat? And it’s talking? To you? It hurries towards you and asks “are you okay?” This goat thing has known you all of three seconds and it’s already shown more concern for your wellbeing than anyone else you know. You decide you like the goat.

“Not really...” you respond.

“Here, get up..” it says, offering itself as a support. Once you’re standing you lean against it. There’s still no way you’re able to stand on your own.

“Name’s Chara,” you mumble.

You just start to think it didn’t hear you when it says “Chara, huh? That’s a nice name. My name is Asriel. Can you walk?”

You look down at yourself. You aren’t bleeding as badly as you thought you were, but you’re still having to lean on Asriel to be able to stand. “Don’t know,” you answer.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” says Asriel. You slowly put one foot in front of the other, still using him as a support. He seems to know his way around, so you let him lead. You’re fairly sure that a snail would be moving faster than you right now, but hey, at least you’re moving.

You and Asriel step through an archway into a purple room. In this room are steps leading into another archway. It occurs to you that the architecture around you seems just a little bit more intentional than you’d expect for a cave under a mountain. And that you’ve decided to trust a talking goat. You’ve just reached the stairs when you stop.

“Are you alright? Do you need to rest?” asks Asriel.

“Where am I?” you ask.

“You’re in the Underground, in the Kingdom of Monsters.” it says.

“Monsters?”

“Don’t worry, we won’t eat you,” it laughs nervously, then stops when it sees your face. “Sorry. Not funny. We’ve been trapped down here for a long time. You’re the first human I’ve actually seen.” It must notice the look in your eyes, because it’s suddenly babbling, “I mean you look a bit like humans in books and things and I’m sorry if you’re not Ididn’tmeantooffendyousorry...”

“Stop that,” you interrupt. “I am technically human, you haven’t offended me. You said you’re trapped? Down here?

It nods. “Yes, there’s a magical barrier. Nobody can get through.”

“So I’m stuck here?”

“It would seem that way. You don’t need to worry, though. Everyone’s really friendly!”

You start to smile. “Oh, I’m not worried at all”

Asriel nods. “Okay. But I need to get you home because you could be really badly hurt and Mum can heal you much better than I can.”

You agree, and you both begin to climb the stairs.


	2. Your New Home

“Mum!” Asriel calls out when the two of you reach a clearing. There’s a large tree in the centre of the room and a nice looking house behind it. “Mum I need help.”

Another goat person walks out of the door of the house. It sees you, and immediately rushes towards you. It holds out its paws (aren’t goats supposed to have hooves? You decide not to question it) and sends out a glow of green towards you. As it washes over you, you feel the cuts on your skin close and the pain in your legs disappear. Your energy seems to pick up and you feel more awake than you have in weeks. The green light fades, leaving you feeling much better. “Thank you,” you say.

“It is no problem,” replies the goat, “how are you feeling?”

“Good.” You think that you should probably introduce yourself. “My name’s Chara.”

“My name is Toriel,” she (you should probably stop calling them ‘it’ in your mind) replies. “I see that you have met my son, Asriel.”

You nod. “He helped me.”

Toriel smiles. “Are you aware of where you are?”

“He said this is the Kingdom of Monsters, and that we’re trapped.”

“Yes, that is right. I am afraid that you will not be able to return to the surface.”

“That’s okay, Ms Toriel”

Asriel chooses this moment to jump in. “They can stay with us!”

Toriel appears to hesitate. “I do not know if that is possible.”

“Where else can they go?” he asks.

She looks at you, then back at her son. “You are right. Chara, you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you want to.”

Asriel grabs your wrist and pulls you inside. “Come on!” he says excitedly, “let me show you my room!”

***

There’s one more goat person. He (?) is standing just inside the door of the house, with a crown in his hands. He’d just taken it off and sighed in what you assume to be tiredness when he saw you. Now you were both staring at each other.

You decide to break the silence. “Uh, hi. I’m Chara. I fell. Asriel brought me here.”

The goat’s brain seemingly clicks into gear and he smiles. Chuckles, even. “Well, then. Howdy. I’m Asgore. Asriel is my son.” He puts the crown on the floor beside the door and steps properly into the house. “I must say it’s been an awfully long time since I have seen a living human.”

Before you can respond, you hear a large noise behind you. You turn, just in time to see a ball of white fur whizz past you towards Asgore. It throws itself at him, and you see that the ball of fur was Asriel.  _ Huh,  _ you think,  _ that kid’s fast.  _

And, of course, you realise what you just thought and start laughing.

***

There weren’t enough chairs at the table for you, so a large armchair was dragged over. There was a lighthearted discussion over who would get to sit in it, with the eventual winner being Toriel because it was actually her chair. She sat down last, bringing a gorgeous looking pie from the kitchen.

The pie is delicious. It’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten. Toriel seems really happy when you tell her this, but you’re more focused on the food. Asriel doesn’t understand why you’re so enthusiastic about the pie, but Asgore just smiles knowingly. At least  _ someone  _ around here can appreciate good cooking. Plus, you’re starving, so that makes it taste even better!

Also, by listening to the conversation between Asgore and Toriel, you realise that you haven’t been taken in by just any monster family. No, you’ve been taken in by the the King and Queen of Monsters themselves. Asriel, the  _ fucking heir to the throne  _ had neglected to mention that small detail to you, the little shit. You decide to get annoyed at him later, however, because right now there’s pie to be eaten.

It’s amazing. You end up eating about half of the pie on your own and nobody gets annoyed at you for it or takes it away from you.

You think you’re going to like it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm using british english to write because i am from england. sorry not sorry : )


	3. Somewhere to Sleep

“Asriel, it is time for you to start getting ready for bed.”

“But Mum...”

Toriel chuckles, and says, “do not argue with me my child. Go and get ready.”

Grumbling, Asriel stands up from his place in front of the fire and walks towards his room. You’re left sitting there with the book the two of you had been reading. It’s one about snails. You don’t find it all that interesting, but Asriel had been fascinated so you hadn’t complained too much. But there’s no way you’re reading it on your own, so you close it and slide it back onto the shelf before standing.

“Ah yes, Chara, you should also be getting ready for bed. It is getting rather late,” says Toriel.

You aren’t really sure how to say it. You look down and fiddle with the hem of your jumper as you mumble “I don’t have anything to change into.”

“Sorry? I was not able to hear that.”

You look up at her. “I don’t have anything to change into,” you say, louder this time.

“Oh, of course. Forgive me, my child, it had completely slipped my mind.” She smiles at you. “Well, I am sure that Asriel will not mind giving you some pajamas of his own.”

***

Asriel doesn’t mind at all, and you end up wearing a  _ very  _ stripey pajama set. Asriel doesn’t seem to own any clothing without stripes on it. When you ask, he says that it’s traditional for children to wear stripes. “That way everyone knows that you’re a kid!”

Smiling, you respond, “or that you are, specifically.” He gives you a confused look, which only makes it funnier. Trying to control the giggles that threaten to explode from you, you explain to him what a ‘kid’ is.

He doesn’t find it as funny as you do. Oh well.

Toriel rejoins you then, and says something that you weren’t expecting. “Chara, I am afraid that we don’t have a bed for you to sleep in. You can either share with Asriel or we can place a spare mattress on the floor. It is your choice.”

It’s the first time that someone’s cared about where you sleep, and it takes you by such a surprise that you don’t respond.

“Uh, Chara?” Asriel asks after you’ve been silent for a little while. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just, are you sure?” you turn to Toriel.

“Of course, my child.”

Tears begin to form in your eyes. “The spare mattress would be great, thank you.”

Toriel smiles knowingly, and leaves to get it. Asriel looks unsure of what to do, so you smile at him to try and reassure him. It seems to work a little.

When Toriel returns with the mattress, she also brings a pillow and blanket to go with it. That’s it, tears start flowing. You only just wait for her to put them down in the middle of the room before you rush at her, burying your face in her fur. She hugs you back and lets you cry. It doesn’t last very long, and when you’re done you detach yourself and thank her again. Toriel smiles, and tells you and Asriel to go to bed.

She leaves the room, and you lie down on the mattress. It’s so comfortable. You’re used to sleeping on the floor, and having that as your only point of reference makes it feel like you’re lying on clouds. And not real clouds, because that would be wet, cold, and short lived. No, it feels like you’re lying on fairytale type clouds. Possibly ones made of candyfloss. Definitely ones strong and supportive enough to hold a castle, so you won’t fall through, and nothing can possibly go wrong atop them.

Asriel’s voice breaks through your daydreaming. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just really happy is all,” you respond.

“You were crying.”

“Happy tears.”

“Why though? It’s just a mattress.”

You sigh quietly, and say, “Yeah, but I’ve never had a mattress before.”

“What?!” Asriel bleats. He actually  _ bleats. _ If it didn’t seem like a serious conversation could be about to start, you’d be laughing pretty hard at that. But it looks like you’re going to have to talk about you, so you control yourself.

“Yeah. I always used to sleep on the floor.”

“That can’t have been comfortable.”

“It wasn’t, believe me. This is much nicer.”

A moment’s silence, then, “Chara? What’s the Surface like?”

You pause to think, then say, “it would be great if it weren’t for humanity.” Asriel makes a questioning sound, so you elaborate. “It can be beautiful. And fascinating. But all the bad things are caused by humans. They destroy the environment, other living things, even each other. People are given less rights because of things that don’t actually matter. People are constantly getting hurt or even killed by other people for no good reasons. All history books could probably be titled ‘How Humanity Destroyed Itself’ and they’d all still be accurate.”

“That sounds bad.”

“It is. Humanity really sucks.”

“...Chara?”

“Yeah?”

“How many humans are there?”

“I don’t know the exact number, but it’s over 7 billion.”

Asriel falls into a stunned silence. Then, he says, “that’s a lot.”

“It is.”

“How are there so many?”

“Many reasons.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of you say anything for a couple of minutes. You’re starting to think that Asriel might’ve fallen asleep when he says, “how old are you?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell.”

“I’m 12. You?”

“Same!”

“Well that’s convenient.”

“And, if you don’t mind me asking, are you a girl? Or a boy? Or neither?”

He’s the first one to care enough to ask. “I don’t mind. Neither. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because you actually asked me instead of just assuming.”

He looks confused. “Isn’t that something that you should ask?”

“Yeah, it is, but people don’t. Humans don’t. I mean, some people do. There  _ are  _ good people out there. But most humans are awful and you can’t find the good ones.”

“Well, you won’t have to deal with bad humans anymore.”

You smile. “No, I won’t.”

You can just about see him smiling back through the gloom. “Goodnight, Chara.”

“Night Azzy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i decide to write in present tense ???? it's such a pain


	4. Forgetting Something

When you wake, you don’t know where you are.

You’re lying on something soft, and you have something warm covering you. This isn’t normal, that’s for sure.

Your tired brain has just begun to debate whether to panic or not when you remember the events of the previous day.

Oh.

You blink your eyes decisively, and go to sit up.

Your attempt is interrupted, however, when a pair of furry feet (paws? You have no idea) land firmly on your face.

Asriel had clearly forgotten you were down there. Oh well, he definitely remembers now.

He bleats, and jumps back onto his bed. He begins stammering apologies and asking if you’re okay.

You? You’re laughing. He wasn’t heavy enough to hurt you, and you can’t really blame him for forgetting you were there. You’d forgotten where you were, after all.

So you’re laughing, which is only making him more upset, which makes you laugh harder, and it’s a cycle that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight.

You’re almost grateful when Asgore opens the door.

“Now, now, children. Are you both alright?”

“I trod on Chara’s face!” Asriel says.

“Oh,” says Asgore. He looks over at you. The added horror on Asriel’s face when his father walked in had caused you to laugh even harder, so now you’re laughing so hard it’s silent. Asgore seems to notice this, smiles, and says, “and are you alright?”

You take deep breaths, trying to get yourself under control. Making sure not to look at Asriel (because you’ll only start laughing again) you’re able to say “I’m fine.”

“Oh, good.” says Asgore. “Breakfast will be ready soon. You two may want to get dressed. Chara, you look to be the same size as Asriel, so you can wear some of his clothes.”

You watch as he leaves the room, your hand clamped firmly over your mouth. You need to calm down.

“I can’t believe you laughed at me!” whines Asriel.

And the giggles begin again.

***

All through breakfast you had a feeling that you’d forgotten something. Now, you and Asriel are playing a game of catch in the courtyard in front of the house, by the tree. Nevertheless, the feeling persists.

You think about the past day. You had walked up the mountain. It had been raining. You had found a cave-type-thing and you’d hidden from the rain inside it. You’d seen a hole, and decided to investigate.

You throw the ball really badly, you’re so lost in your thoughts. As Asriel goes to retrieve it, you continue to think. No, the root of the problem must be further back. Before you’d left the house. You’d made sure to put on your favourite jumper and you’d grabbed the dagger from the gardening cupboard...

The dagger!

“Asriel,” you say when he returns, “I dropped something when I fell. I need to get it back.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Uh, well, it’s a knife.”

“Why do you need that?”

“Because it’s mine, okay? It must be somewhere around where I fell.”

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll take you back there.”

Asriel tells his mother that the two of you are going for a walk, and you set off back through the town.

Occasionally you come across other monsters. Asriel smiles and waves at some of them, but they tend to either ignore the pair of you or give you both weird looks. You suppose that kinda makes sense. You’re a human and he’s the prince. It’s still a little bit off putting, though.

Then, suddenly, a carrot with eyes jumps in front of you. The colours fade from your surroundings as you feel a pull from your chest. You look down to see a small red heart hovering roughly a foot in front of you. Four words have also started hovering close to the ground. _FIGHT. ACT. ITEM. MERCY._

You are confused, to say the least.

“Hey, get away from them!” you hear Asriel say from beside you. You turn to look at him. He’s black and white too! The colour’s completely gone from everywhere except the heart. You want to ask him what’s going on, but you feel like you should be careful about what you do. Asriel looks at you. “Just do what I say, okay?”

You nod.

“See those options, down there? Press MERCY. It’s on the far right. Then press ‘Flee’.”

You do as he tells you. Once you do so, the heart rushes back into your chest and colour returns to the world.

“Now go away!” Asriel yells at the carrot. It leaves. Other monsters are staring. Asriel grabs your arm and pulls you down the corridor. He doesn’t let go or stop moving until you are back where you fell.

“What the hell was that?” you ask.

“That Vegetoid summoned your SOUL and took you into battle.”

“SOUL? Battle? What?”

“Formal combat lets the people involved take turns. Those options were what you can do when it’s your turn.”

“Like in a video game?”

“A little bit, yes.”

“Ok. SOUL?”

“Monster magic mainly attacks the SOUL. I’m kinda guessing here. I mean, our bodies pretty much _are_ our SOULs so that’s what makes sense. I’ll have to ask Mum and Dad though...”

“So... the carrot was trying to _attack_ me?”

“Yeah...”

“ _Why?_ I haven’t done anything to it!”

“Because you’re human, maybe? I don’t really know,” Asriel admits.

You sigh. Of course it wasn’t going to be plain sailing. You clearly aren’t allowed nice things.

“Okay,” you finally say, “let’s look for my knife, yeah?”

Asriel nods, and you begin your search.

***

You hold your knife close to you on the way back to the house. Nobody tries to attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've just gone away on holiday so i might not be able to write as much for the next week. i'll definitely try though : )


	5. SOULs

“Oh dear, that must have been such a scary experience,” Toriel says once you and Asriel tell her about what happened.

Asgore looks up from the book he’d been reading. “It’s possible that the Vegetoid wasn’t aware that it could’ve hurt them. Many monsters haven’t seen humans before.”

“It called up the battle system, Dad.” Asriel says.

“It’s been known for monsters to use that system for conversational purposes.”

“Chara,” Asriel turns to you, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “I wasn’t aware that it was your birthday! You should’ve told me!”

“Now, now. It could still all just be a misunderstanding.” Asgore places his paw on your shoulder. “Chara, are you alright?”

“Yes. It just confused me, is all.”

“Well, you aren’t hurt. That’s the important thing. I will address the people later today. This won’t happen again.”

***

Asriel offers to let you hide your knife in his bedside table, but you’d rather keep with you. Especially after the incident with the carrot.

“I still have some questions,” you say.

“Okay.” Asriel says, sitting on the edge of his bed. You sit beside him, facing him with your legs crossed.

“Your bodies are your SOULs? What’s up with that?”

“Well, sort of. Monsters are made up of mostly magic. Our SOULs aren’t really all that strong, but it’s the source of our magic, so it’s easier to say that...” he trails off. He seems deep in thought for a moment, then says, “I don’t know. It’s complicated, and doesn’t matter. Don’t worry too much.”

“Do you know more about how human SOULs work? Loads of people don’t even think that they’re real.”

“Uh, yeah, it’s easier to explain for you. Your body is made up of physical stuff, and your SOUL is stronger. It’s inside you. No, I don’t know where. The brain maybe? When it’s called up like that it forms a little heart, which you saw.”

“Why was it red?”

“Human SOULs are different colours depending on their ‘defining trait’. I think Mum said that red was determination. Yours must be determination.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. I’m not an expert on this stuff.”

“One more question though. How does Toriel know what human SOULs are like?”

Asriel looks at you for a couple of seconds. Then he takes a deep breath, and begins to explain.


	6. The History of Humans and Monsters

“A long time ago, 1000 years or something, we lived on the surface. Monsters weren’t trapped underground. We lived up there, with humans. It was kinda peaceful, but I guess humans were scared of us or something. Their,” he pauses, and seems to remember who he’s actually talking to, “sorry, your SOULs are a lot stronger than ours. So strong that they don’t disappear immediately when you die. Your SOUL survives for a moment or two after death. That has the potential to be long enough for a monster to absorb it. It would make that monster very powerful. Theoretically.”

“Did that ever happen?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “You’d have to ask Mum or Dad, they’ll be able to tell you.

You figured that monster biology would be different than that of humans, but this seems a bit much. “So they were there?” you ask. “Didn’t you just say that it was 1000 years ago? They don’t look _that_ old.”

“My family’s special. We’re Boss Monsters. That makes us different from normal monsters in two ways. One, our SOULs can persist after death for a second or two as well. Two, we’re pretty much immortal unless we have kids. Mum and Dad hadn’t aged for centuries until they had me. They used to _live_ up there,” says Asriel, a sort of glazed look in his eyes.

You let him imagine for a moment before asking, “What happened? Why are you all down here now? You said we were trapped?”

“Yeah. Well, humans are really strong, right? We’ve established that. How much they can hurt us depends on how much they want to. So when they attacked, we didn’t stand a chance.”

“They _attacked?!_ ”

“They were probably just scared. I suppose it doesn’t matter much. Whatever the reason, we were driven underground. Seven human sorcerers put up the barrier. People can get in, but not getting out is practically impossible.”

“Only practically?”

“A human SOUL on its own couldn’t pass through it, and that’s really strong.”

“What if it had a body with it?”

“You know what I mean, Chara.”

“Okay, couldn’t resist, sorry. Would a human SOUL and a monster SOUL manage it together?” you ask.

“I think so,” he responds hesitantly, “or two humans maybe?” He smiles. “Maybe we could join hands and see if we can get through together!”

“Ok, that’s on the to-try list.” You think of something else. “How would you destroy the barrier?”

“It took seven people to make it, so you’d need something as powerful seven human SOULs to break it.”

“Like, for example, seven human SOULs?”

“Hey, don’t be mean!”

“I was just saying!” you defend yourself, but you’re both smiling. You have another question, so you figure you might as well ask it now. “Am I the first human to come down here?”

“Technically no? You’re the first to survive. Dad said that someone usually falls every decade or so. I’ve never actually seen any humans before you.”

You smile. “I guess that just means I’m more _awesome_ than other humans.”

He smiles back. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

The grin drops from your face. “It’s not surprising, you know.”

“What isn’t?”

“That humans attacked you. Just for being different? That kind of thing happens all the time. Some things never change I guess.”

“You said that there were good people.”

“Yeah. Not enough.”

He doesn’t have a response for that. You sit on the bed in silence for a minute or so, before he catches your attention again. “Chara?”

“Yeah, Azzy?”

“Why do you have a knife?”

“It’s mine. I need it.”

“But why?”

“...I don’t think I want to tell you right now. I will, though. Promise.”

He doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer, but nods anyway. Good thing too, because you can be awfully stubborn when you want to be, and you don’t want him to dislike you over this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actual plot should start soon. i just needed to get this bit out of the way : )


	7. Time Passes

The next few days pass without incident. Asgore publicly declares that you are not to be harmed, and the monsters all seem to be okay with that. About a week after he does this, you and Asriel are sitting in the courtyard when somebody approaches.

Not just any somebody, though. It’s the carrot that had attacked you.

Asriel sees it before you do, and immediately places himself in front of you like a shield. It’s sweet, but it’s plain to see that if the carrot really wanted to attack you it would be effortless for it to move him out of the way. But it doesn’t do that. Instead, it stops a small distance away and says, “I’m sorry about before.”

“Huh?” is all you can manage.

“I understand that I frightened you. Before. Truthfully, I was unaware that there was the potential for you to be harmed.”

“...Okay,” you say. “Just don’t do it again please.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” It turns and leaves.

***

A decision is made after you’ve been underground for about two months. Apparently, in the basement of your home there’s a door that leads to more caves. Caves which are populated. Asgore tells both you and Asriel that at the end of the Underground, in New Home next to the barrier, there is a castle owned by your family. And you were all now going to move down there.

“How come I’ve never been there?” asks Asriel.

“We thought it best to raise our child away from the capital.” says Toriel

“And it turned out well, didn’t it?” adds Asgore. “Had we lived in the castle, you wouldn’t have been here when Chara fell.”

That thought doesn’t sit well with you. At all. You would have  _ died.  _

“I have a question,” you say, “will I get an actual bed?”

“Yes, of course, my child” says Toriel.

“I’m sold. When are we leaving?”

For some reason Asriel finds this funny.


	8. New Home

Your parents (your  _ new  _ parents) hadn’t been kidding when they told you to wrap up warmly. There’s  _ snow  _ down here. How on earth was it able to snow underground? You don’t know. Asriel doesn’t know. He says that it must just be magic, as there’s a lot of  _ that  _ around. There’s a forest as well. Trees. Growing.  _ Underground. _

Don’t they need to photosynthesize? Which requires sunlight?  _ How are there trees here? _

Again, Asriel is no help. Whatsoever. His default explanation for all of your questions is just that it must be magic. “But,” you insist, “magic can’t just overrule basic science! Primary school stuff is being ignored here!”

“Are you really getting upset over the surrounding not making sense?”

“Yes!”

“...I feel sorry for you.”

“Azzy, look up.”

He does. “It’s the ceiling.”

“Yeah, well on the surface there  _ isn’t  _ a ceiling. It’s just the sky. It’s big and blue and goes on forever. And you’d freak out if you saw it. It wouldn’t make any sense to you!”

“There’s no way that’s true,” he scoffs.

“Dad, back me up here!” you call out to Asgore, who’s walking slightly ahead of you.

“Chara’s right Asriel,” he says.

“No way...” he says in disbelief. “That’s so cool!”

“Well, I think that snow and plants somehow existing underground without either clouds or the Sun is cool.”

“You are just not used to seeing them,” says Toriel.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,” you say.

“Now, children, we are approaching Snowdin Town.” Asgore points across a gap in the path. “It’s just over there.”

“Uh, how are we supposed to get across?” asks Asriel

“If you step down carefully here, there is a rock formation that leads to the other side.” Toriel says, before making her way onto said rocks.

Both you and Asriel take it very slowly, as there seems to be what you deem ‘Middle-Earth safety regulations’. It bothers you a little that he doesn’t get the reference, and you resolve to forc-  _ introduce  _ him to the films (at least) as soon as possible.

Wait, would you even be able to do that?

“Of course, my child. There is an area of the underground where items from the surface often collect. Many forms of entertainment can be found there.” Toriel says when you ask.

That settles it. You are going to make him watch those films. The thought of watching Lord of the Rings with your brother fills you with determination.

Snowdin Town itself appears really friendly. There’s a shop, an inn (called Snowed Inn, which both you and your mother can’t help but laugh at), a bar, a Christmas tree which you decide not to question, and a library. A quick glance inside tells you that there are lots of books. Which is to be expected. You recognise some of them, and resolve to return when you can to catch up on some reading. You haven’t read anything fictional since you fell, and that needs to change at the first opportunity!

The townspeople (mostly rabbits, although there’s some variety) all greet Asgore as if he’s an old friend. They seem really happy to see Asriel and seem excited to see you. If they weren’t all so friendly you’d probably be annoyed by the constant attention. But they are really nice, so you can’t find it in yourself to get frustrated.

Eventually, Asgore changes the direction that the four of you are walking in and heads north. There, you see a hooded figure in a small wooden boat. Asgore greets them and requests that they take you to Hotland. You all pile on and, for a moment, you’re scared that the boat will break. Somehow, it holds.

“Tra la la~” sings the hooded figure as they steer their boat down the river. “Remember, flowers are not food~”

You think about how you can get rose-flavoured foods (mostly sweets) which are perfectly edible, so it’s not like all flowers are inherently  _ bad  _ for you or anything. You spend a few moments pondering this before Asriel nudges you to get your attention. He points upwards.

It’s stunning.

The ceiling is a dark blue and is covered in sparkling gemstones. It occurs to you that they’re probably in place to imitate stars in the night sky on the surface, but you barely care. The two just don’t compare. The stars are nice and all, but the ceiling gems are beautiful in an entirely different way.

You’re out of that area (which Toriel says is called ‘Waterfall’) rather quickly, and soon you’re surrounded by lava.

Actual lava.

Of all things, you certainly weren’t expecting  _ that. _

The boat comes to a stop and you all disembark. “Come again some time~” says the hooded figure, and you and your family make your way north.

It doesn’t take long before you reach an elevator. Once you’re all in, Asgore presses a button and it takes you to what Toriel tells you is the other end of Hotland. From there, you take another elevator from the entryway of a block of flats that leads you to the capital.

Asgore leads you to the castle, where you’ll be living from this point on.

The immediate area inside is pretty much identical to your home back at the beginning of the Underground. The walls are painted a different colour, however, and you’re told that the basement leads to the rest of the castle.

You and Asriel both want to explore, but it’s been a long day and frankly you’re exhausted, so you head to your new room.

There are two beds. You get your own bed.

Nothing can wipe the resulting smile off your face. It stays even as you sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Middle-Earth safety regulations’ = no handrails. because watching those films always makes me super paranoid. forget orcs, i'd just slip and die if i had to do that journey
> 
> and chara is a massive bookworm & nerd and i love them


	9. Exploring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your lovely comments, i absolutely adore reading them : D

The moment the opportunity presents itself, you drag Asriel around the rest of the castle with you. It’s huge! And you definitely want to explore all of it.

The first interesting thing you find is a mysterious elevator. You step inside, and are just about to press the button inside when Asriel stops you.

“Who knows where that leads?” he says. “We can ask later. Let’s just look at this floor for now.”

“It probably just goes up and down,” you say.

“The one we took in Hotland took us across the Underground. It could literally take us anywhere.”

You sigh, and step out.

As you and Asriel explore, you find loads of interesting rooms. There are guest bedrooms, a conference room, a  _ ballroom  _ (the thought of fancy events being held by your parents makes both you and Asriel laugh, but it’s a nice room), and a study, to name a few. There’s a thick layer of dust on everything, which you realise shouldn’t surprise you as much as it does. After all, nobody’s been here for years.

There’s one room that you absolutely adore. Pretty much above all others.

It’s more of a corridor, really.

The floor is tiled, with two contrasting shades of gold.  _ Gold.  _ You don’t know if it’s real gold, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it is. Monsters use gold as their main currency, of course. It would seem that the humans who trapped them here didn’t perform a thorough check first. But regardless of whether the tiles are real gold or not, they look great. It contrasts greatly to the rest of the castle, as pretty much every other room is predominately white. There are also pillars that line the corridor on either side, with giant windows in between. The light coming in from the windows makes the room almost glow, and on each one there is a giant symbol. You’ve seen it before, on your parents’ clothing and official documents and the like. Neither you nor Asriel know what it means.

You get the feeling that you’re going to spend a lot of time here.

Just beyond the corridor is the throne room. The most interesting thing about this room, to you, is that the ground is made up of earth. Like it was a giant flowerbed. And knowing what your Dad is like, that’s exactly what it’ll become. You’re excited to see how it’s going to look.

There’s a door in the back left corner of the throne room. The room just beyond it resembles the cave that you first fell into. There’s a pathway to the right.

Then an archway.

You step through, and are greeted with a wall of white. It makes a faint humming sound.

“Chara,” whispers Asriel, “I think that’s the barrier.”

You reach a hand out to touch it. When your fingers make contact, it’s like the barrier itself pushes you back. You feel that any attempt to get though just wouldn’t work.

“OhmygoshCharaareyouokay?” babbles Asriel.

You walk back to where he’s standing. “Yeah,” you say, “I’m fine.”

“Can I see it? I can do a little bit of healing magic now and - “

“I’m not just saying that I’m fine, Azzy, look.” You show him your hand. “See? It didn’t hurt me. It just pushed my hand back. A bit like magnets.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Hey, Azzy,” you say.

“Yes?”

“I dare you to throw yourself at the barrier.”

He looks shocked. “I can’t do that!”

“I just proved that it won’t hurt you. It’ll be like running into a very bouncy trampoline, that’s all.”

“But I can’t mess around like that.”

You grin. “You’re scared? You’re gonna wimp out on me?”

That works. He motions for you to move out of the way, which you do. He then runs full speed into the barrier.

It flings him backwards into the wall opposite. 

“I’m okay!” he says as he gets back up to his feet. “That was kinda fun.”

“Told you it wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You pause for a moment, and remember a conversation you had with him when you’d only just fallen. “Azzy?”

“Yeah?”

“What if we joined hands and tried to walk through?”

“...I have no idea.”

You feel yourself begin to smile. “Want to try?”

“Okay, sure. But if we make it through we come straight back, and tell Mum and Dad.”

“Deal.” You hold out your hand to him. He takes it.

The thought of possibly freeing the monsters after they’ve been trapped underground for so long fills you with determination.


	10. Overly Drastic Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for suicide and misgendering

The barrier doesn’t repel you.

It lets you pass. Like it’s not even there.

Asriel gasps beside you as he sees the Surface for the first time. And you kinda have to agree. As views go, this one isn’t bad.

But you spent 12 years up here. You’ve seen it before. Seeing the look of wonder on your brother’s face is way better, so you choose to look there instead.

You spend a few minutes like this. Just standing in the sunlight. Letting the breeze wash over you. It’s lovely. It’s peaceful. You feel full of hope.

You hear a cry. Looking over to where it came from, you see a small group of hikers.

Don’t they know the stories? What are they doing here?

The more immediate issue is that they just saw Asriel. A goat-monster-thing wearing a stripey jumper. And they’re freaking out.

“Hey, it’s ok!” you call out to them. “It’s fine! There’s no need to panic!”

If they’re listening to you, they don’t show it. One of them, a big man, comes storming over towards you. He seems angry.

“Kid,” he says to you, “come with me. I’ll take you back to the village. You’ll be safe there.”

You shake your head and regain your hold on Asriel’s hand. You step backwards away from the man and Asriel steps back with you.

“That wasn’t a request!” the man snaps and grabs your free arm and pulls you away from Asriel. Somebody else had begun to walk up. A woman. She’s carrying rope. She’s looking at Asriel.

You struggle to pull yourself free from the man, while yelling back to Asriel “go back home! Get safe!”

The idiot doesn’t move in time, and the woman grabs him. She begins to tie him up while another one of the hikers trains a gun (why in _hell_ do they have a _gun?_ ) on him.

The man holding you is pulling you away. You aren’t strong enough to free yourself, but you do everything in your power to make the journey as difficult as possible for him. He ends up dragging you to an area that you assume is a campsite. He throws you inside a random tent and zips it shut before you can get back out again. You overhear him telling somebody else not to let you out while he phones the police.

Whoever it is he’s left guarding you, they know how to do their job. You fail to get out multiple times, and eventually you stop trying.

Shit like this is why you hate humans. You don’t even know what conclusions they jumped to, seeing as none of them knew anything about monsters before today, but they certainly jumped to some pretty bad ones.

You look around at what’s in the tent with you. There’s a sleeping bag, some cereal bars, and a bag. You decide to explore what’s in the bag. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.

You find clothes. Obviously.

More food.

A _Swiss-Army knife._

You have an idea.

It’s probably not a sensible idea.

It’s definitely not a good idea.

You’re going to do it anyway.

You think of your own knife, which is currently under your pillow back home. The one day you don’t take it with you, this happens.

Oh well. It doesn’t matter. The Swiss-Army knife will do.

You open up its largest blade, and take a deep breath.

“Let me go,” you say to the person guarding you.

“Or what?” asks the person.

“Or I’ll kill myself,” you respond.

“Or you’ll what?” they say, clearly doubting you.

“I climbed that mountain to disappear. They saved me. Let me go back to them or I will finish what I started.”

“Kid, you’re not making any sense. You’re not going to kill yourself.”

This person sounds so _sure_.

Welp, you’re not one for empty threats. You feel on your neck for your pulse, knowing that the artery is just beneath it. There it is.

Your right hand holds the knife. It’s shaking. You take a deep breath.

In.

Out.

You repeat.

Again.

Again until you’re calm.

You give yourself a countdown.

3.

2.

1.

You plunge it into your neck. Twist. Back out.

You drop the knife. It hurts. Why does that surprise you? You can’t breathe. There’s blood everywhere. Why did you decide to do this again? To make a point?

No. You don’t want to die. You were just beginning to live. You do not want to die now. What were you thinking? Why did you do that?

***

You open your eyes.

You’re surrounded by black. There’s nobody but you. There’s nothing but you.

Just before you begin to panic, you see two words hovering in the air. CONTINUE, and RESET.

You look around. There’s nothing else there.

You want to know what’s going on, and suddenly you’re watching something from above. It’s the campsite. Where those humans took you. All the people are crowding around one of the tents.

It’s the tent you were thrown in.

You hear some of them speak. They sound shocked. Frightened, even.

“How did she do that?”

“I must have left my knife in there...”

“There’s so much blood.”

“What are we going to do?”

You don’t want to see any more. The world around you goes black once more.

You spin back to the words with the intent to select one. You don’t care which. All you know is that you want to get out of this area immediately.

You hit ‘CONTINUE’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise that the next few chapters will be nice and fluffy before the inevitable happens


	11. Does It Almost Feel Like You've Been Here Before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mention of suicide

You are standing next to the barrier.

Asriel is holding your hand.

You feel the smile that was on your face drop as you take it all in.

You’re _alive._

Those humans haven’t got you. You’re in the Underground. Like it never happened.

“Uh, Chara?” says Asriel, “are you okay?”

You respond by hugging him. Tightly. As if he’d disappear if you let go (because for all you know, he might).

“You’re acting weird...”

“Sorry,” you say. “It’s just...”

“You’re squishing me.”

“Sorry.” You let him go.

“So, are we going through, or...?”

“No!”

“Why not? You wanted to a minute ago?”

“I know Azzy. It’s just, humanity is so awful and...”

He interrupts. “We won’t be out there for long. And we probably won’t see any. And there’s no guarantee we’ll even be able to get through.”

“We just can’t!”

“...What did they do, Chara?”

He thinks that you’ve remembered something that’s causing you to panic. Causing you to never want to go back. It would be so easy to make something up. To let him believe it.

But you can’t lie to him like that.

“...you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“I’d never think that about you.”

“Okay, because I either just had a _very_ vivid hallucination or I just turned back time.”

Asriel doesn’t say anything. He just waits for you to continue.

“So we were holding hands, right?” you say. “And the barrier let us through. Because there’s more power than a single human SOUL. And we saw the surface. But these human hikers saw us and they tied you up and dragged me to their campsite and trapped me in a tent and...” you trail off, having no idea how to explain the rest of it without sounding like you need professional help.

It’s Asriel’s turn to hug you. “I don’t know how, but what you just said all sounded kinda familiar? I don’t know. I guess I can believe that you turned back time.”

“You believe me?”

“Yeah. But how did you do it?”

He breaks away from the hug and looks at you, his eyes full of concern. You have to tell him. “I died.” You say it so quietly it’s almost a whisper, but he hears you anyway.

“Did those humans...?” he asks.

“No. I did it. I’m not sure why. Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time? I regretted it instantly, but by then it was too late.”

Asriel takes your hand, and begins to lead you back through the castle. As you walk, he speaks. “Is it normal for humans to be able to turn back time when they die?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Did it just happen automatically, or..?”

“No. I was surrounded by blackness and there were two words floating, like in the battle system. CONTINUE and RESET. I hit ‘CONTINUE’.”

“What would’ve happened if you’d pressed the other one?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t really care about finding out.”

He stops walking, and turns to face you. “Do you think you could manage to turn back time without dying? And can you control how far back you go?”

“I have no idea. It’s never happened before and I hope that it never happens again. Dying isn’t fun.”

“Well, at that point when we were holding hands and you suddenly freaked out, did you do anything just before it? Anything that would have marked it as a return point?”

“...you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Well, it just sounds a bit like video game logic, is all.” You raise an eyebrow, and he elaborates. “In games, you SAVE so if you die you can RELOAD from a certain point. Or you can RESET and play from the beginning. Being surrounded by nothing but those options sounds like a loading screen to me. So you could have done something that means you SAVED.”

“...you’re kinda smart, you know that? I would never have made that link. And you made it pretty much instantly.”

His cheeks go a slight red. “No, I’m not really smart. I just play a lot of games.”

You smile at him. “And the battle system looks like something out of a game as well.”

His face briefly shows offense, then he seems to think about it, and shrugs. “Yeah, I suppose it does.” You both resume walking back towards the area of the castle in which you actually live. “So are we going to tell Mum and Dad about this?”

“No way. That would involve telling them that A: we went to the surface and B: that I died and C: that I died because I killed myself. They’d freak out.”

He sighs. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

***

“Dad?” Asriel looks up from the game of Monopoly that he’s playing with you and Toriel (that you are winning and loving every moment of) when Asgore walks in. “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“Chara and I explored a bit of the castle today and we found this elevator. Where does it go?”

You look up at Asgore. You’d forgotten about it, what with everything that happened, but you do want to know.

“Ah, yes. That elevator leads directly to the science labs in Hotland. I don’t recommend that you go there without an adult with you, it can be quite dangerous.”

“Told you.” Asriel says. You poke your tongue out at him in response.

“Are the labs in use?” you ask.

“Yes they are. The Royal Scientist is an old friend of mine, and both of you will have to meet him one day. But he is a very busy man who shouldn’t be interrupted.”

“Gotcha,” you say, “no unsupervised visits to the labs.”

Asriel nods in agreement, and then you get back to your game.

***

You win, obviously. You’d gained the upper hand close to the start and held it ever since. Toriel is gracious in her defeat. Asriel tries to be, but it’s clear to see that it’s upset him.

“Come on,” you say to him, “don’t be such a crybaby over it. It’s just a game.”

“I’m not being a crybaby.”

“Yeah, you are.” You sigh. “Look, I want to visit the library in Snowdin at some point. We can’t go today, it’s getting late. But I’m hoping to go tomorrow. Come with me?”

He perks up immediately. “Of course!”

With that sorted, you and Asriel pack the game away.


	12. The Underground

You didn’t get to go the next day as you’d wanted. In fact, it’s about a month before Asgore and Toriel allow you and Asriel to visit the rest of the Underground. They’d said that they wanted to be more ‘settled in’ before you went exploring. You didn’t mind  _ too  _ much. The castle was pretty big, after all, and you’d spent a lot of time exploring the rest of it. And playing games of hide and seek that went on for way too long.

But you’re super excited to explore the Underground properly.

The moment that you’re told that you can go out if you want, you grab Asriel and practically drag him all the way to Snowdin.

You hadn’t noticed it before, but the sign for the library is misspelled. Instead of saying ‘Library’ is says ‘Librarby’. You wonder if that was a mistake when the sign was made, or if it’s graffiti. You and Asriel walk in and (while appreciating the sudden warmth that comes with being inside out of the snow) you mention the sign to the monster sitting at the front desk.

“Yes,” they sigh, “and the terrible thing is that’s a new sign. Made specially just a couple of months ago. And look at it! Nobody even realised that it was wrong until the sign was in place. And whenever we try to fix it, it’s back to the wrong spelling the next day!”

“How come?” you ask.

“I don’t know. Some people say that they see a small dog painting over it at night, but how would that be possible? You need to be really tall or be really good at blue magic to get up there! A small dog would be neither of those things! It just doesn’t make any sense...”

You give the monster what you hope is a reassuring pat on the shoulder, before making your way over to the shelves.

The books are arranged by colour. Which is unusual, but you can get behind it. A quick scan tells you that there’s a wide variety of books. Lots of different genres among the fiction and lots of different topics among the nonfiction. There’s books written by both humans and monsters. There’s a lack of human history books, though, but seeing that there seems to be  _ literally everything else ever,  _ you don’t mind too much.

Asriel has already picked a book off the blue shelf and is now curled up in a corner with it. You take a look.

“Oh,” you say, getting his attention, “that one’s in the middle of a series. You don’t want to start there, you won’t know what’s going on.”

“Where’s the first one?” he asks while looking back up at the shelf he got it from.

“They aren’t all blue.” You walk over to the the other side of the room. “I think the first one is...” you trail off as you scan the green shelf. “There it is.” You slide the book out and hand it over to Asriel. “That’s written by a human. And if the first and third ones are here then I bet the rest will be here too.”

“Have you read it before?”

“Once. It’s pretty good.”

He sits back down in the corner and begins to read. You pick another green book at random and sit down next to him.

‘Love, hope, compassion... This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. But the absolute nature of “SOUL” is unknown. After all, humans have proven their SOULs don’t need these things to exist.’

You can’t help but laugh. It’s true.

***

Asriel wanted to walk through Waterfall on the way back, so that’s what you decided to do. Something that caught your attention, other than the  _ stunning  _ gems on the ceiling, were the inscriptions on the wall. They told the story of how humans trapped monsters underground. Asriel has already told you all about it, so you don’t have to read them.

You do anyway.

Another thing you notice is the flowers. There are so many of them. They don’t look much like your favourite ones, back on the surface, but they’re still very pretty.

And they talk.

The first time you hear one of the flowers say something, it scares you. You’d never come across a talking flower before. A passing monster tells you that the flowers are called echo flowers, and they repeat the last thing that they hear on a loop, just softly enough that the surrounding flowers won’t hear so the messages stay clear.

Asriel has never seen one before. He loves them. He keeps running up to each one he sees and saying things like “Asriel was here” and “I’m the coolest” and singing lines from songs. You try to be the sensible one, who doesn’t get involved with Asriel’s silliness.

You  _ try. _

It doesn’t last long.

After a while you’ve both worn yourselves out and so sit up against a wall to relax for a bit. You’d had more fun running around like a little kid than you’d thought you would.

“Hey, Chara?” Asriel says.

“Yeah?”

“When’s your birthday?”

“...That’s a bit random,” you say.

“Yeah but I don’t know it. And you know mine.”

“Ninth of September.”

His eyes widen. “But that’s really soon!”

“Yeah, so?”

“So we have to do something for it!”

You laugh. “No, we don’t. It’s no big deal.”

He turns to face you properly. “How can you say that it’s no big deal? It’s your birthday? Not only that, but you’ll be 13! You’ll be a teenager! Aren’t you excited?”

“It really doesn’t matter that much.”

“Do Mum and Dad know that it’s your birthday soon?” he asks.

“No. And don’t tell them.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’ll feel obliged to do something for it. You guys have already been nice enough. I don’t want anything for my birthday.”

Asriel opens his mouth to argue some more, but is distracted by something behind you. You turn and see someone walking towards you. They look a bit like a tortoise. You figure that this is just another monster. You turn back to Asriel, just in time to see him jump up and run towards the tortoise.

“Uncle Gerson!” he yells as he wraps his arms around him (as best he can, the shell is a little large).

“Wa ha ha, you wanna be careful there kid,” says Gerson. “You could knock me right over.”

“I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“It certainly feels that way, doesn’t it? Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

Oh, yeah.” Asriel detaches himself from Gerson, and pulls you to your feet. “This is Chara. Chara, this is Gerson. He’s been friends with Dad since forever.”

“So, he’s not  _ really _ your uncle then?” you ask.

Asriel ignores you.

“And how long’ve you been in the Underground, eh?” asks Gerson.

“They fell about three months ago.” Asriel replies.

“I can speak for myself, you know,” you say.

“Sorry.”

“But yeah, about three months.”

“And you’ve been staying with ol’ King Fluffybuns?” asks Gerson.

You guess that ‘Fluffybuns’ is Asgore. You don’t know why Gerson just called him that, but the name seems fitting enough. “Yeah I have. Asriel’s the one who found me.”

“Well, it’s good that you are. You staying with them is a massive step forward for both Humans and Monsters. Anyway, you kids are standing right outside my shop. You want anything?”

Asriel starts talking to Gerson about what he’s selling, leaving you to think about what he just said. A massive step forward? Humanity are (as far as you know) unaware that there are monsters beneath the mountain. Plus, the humans you’d seen in the abandoned timeline had reacted badly, to say the least. But, possibly he was focusing more on the monsters. Most of them had never seen a human before you, after all.

“See you later, Gerson.” Asriel waves as the two of you walk down to where the riverperson will be waiting. “Here,” he says to you, “I got us a sea tea each.”

“Are you sure this is safe to drink? It’s glowing.”

“It’s made using the marshwater.”

“...that doesn’t answer my question.”

“It’s super safe. All the water in Waterfall is safe to drink. Gerson wouldn’t sell it if it wasn’t.”

You try the sea tea. It’s alright.

“Something else that’s cool about sea teas is that if you drink one in battle you’ll be able to move faster.” Asriel says as you reach the boat.

“Okay,” you smile, “I’ll bear that in mind should I ever have to fight someone.”

Asriel is about to respond when the riverperson interjects.

“Tra la la~ Would you like to ride with me?”

You and Asriel nod, and climb in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> their birthday is the ninth of september because that's the ninth of the ninth and chara loves nines =)


	13. Balloons

There are areas throughout the Underground where stuff from the Surface collects. These areas are mostly in Waterfall, so sometimes things are a little damaged. But not often.

You love Waterfall. This is one of the reasons why.

One day, as you and Asriel are walking back after visiting Gerson, you notice something interesting.

It’s a packet of balloons.

An idea begins to form in your mind, and you take the packet home with you.

***

You wait until you get home before opening the pack. After all, you wouldn’t want to lose any. Asriel has no idea what they are. You feel kinda sorry for him, and decide that his life is about to be forever changed and improved by what you’re about to show him.

You take a deep breath, and blow into the first balloon.

He stares as it inflates.

When you’re satisfied that it’s as full as it’s going to get you tie a knot to stop air from escaping. You look at Asriel, eager to see his reaction.

“Is that it?” he asks.

You respond by throwing the balloon at him.

He bats it back.

You bat it back to him. Badly. He has to run across the room to stop it from hitting the floor.

“See?” you say as the game of don’t-let-the-balloon-touch-the-ground continues, “I told you they were fun.”

Asriel catches the balloon in his hands. “It’s just another way of playing catch.”

“I suppose, yeah.”

Suddenly, the balloon in Asriel’s hands pops. It takes both of you by surprise, but Asriel (who had no idea that was a possibility) bleats and jumps backwards. You laugh.

“Did you stick your claws in it? They’re kinda fragile. You want to be careful.” You walk over and pick up the dead balloon from the ground. After putting it in your pocket to throw away later, you get another one out of the pack to blow it up.

Asriel has recovered from the shock of the burst balloon by the time you’re done blowing up a new one. He watches with curiosity showing on his face when you don’t throw this one to him. Instead, you rub it on your jumper.

“There’s something else that’s cool about balloons,” you say, and you hold the balloon up to your hair. Asriel’s eyes widen as strands of your hair stick up and cling to the balloon’s surface.

“How does that work?” he asks.

“Static electricity.”

“But how does  _ that  _ work?”

“...I don’t actually know.” You grin, “it’s cool though.” You rub the balloon on your jumper again, before holding it out towards Asriel. “Here, let’s see if it works with your fur.”

Asriel backs away. “No thank you.”

“You know you want to.”

“I really don’t.”

“Come on, Azzy.”

However, instead of responding to you, he reaches for the door behind him, opens it, and runs.

You chase.

Only for you both to crash into Toriel.

“Children, children, why are you running around inside?”

“Chara’s chasing me with a balloon!” Asriel whines.

“But look, it’s harmless,” you say, holding it out to his fur. It sticks to the balloon. “See?”

“Give me that!” He snatches the balloon off of you.

“Chara, you should not wind up Asriel like that,” says Toriel. “It is not a nice thing to do.”

You’re about to protest that it was only a joke when - 

BANG

Asriel screams.

It seems that he is yet to perfect the art of holding a balloon without popping it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've hit 10k how did that happen? : )


	14. Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, sorry about the delay with getting this chapter out. life happened. i'm currently at a summer school/taster weekend for a university (which i will probably never get into but i can dream right?) so there hasn't been much time to write
> 
> oh well, i hope this makes up for it : )
> 
> warning for referenced/implied child abuse & neglect and mention of suicide

You wake to an empty room.

Empty as in, there’s no Asriel telling you to get up.

It’s strange. Usually you either wake up before him, or he wakes you up before leaving the room.

So looking over and seeing an empty bed is definitely unusual.

You get out of bed and get dressed. Wherever he is, he’s probably fine. He likely just forgot to get you up in his rush to play whatever game he found in Waterfall yesterday. There’s no need to worry.

No need at all.

(You’re slightly worried)

You leave your bedroom and walk towards the living room. That’s where he’s likely to be, and if he’s not then you can ask Asgore or Toriel if they’ve seen him.

The lights are off when you reach the room. You feel for the switch on the wall, and flick it on.

“SURPRISE!”

The first thing you notice is that Asriel, Asgore and Toriel are standing in front of you, and that they’re the ones who just said that. Then you notice the balloons hung up in random places on the wall. Really random places. There’s a cake sitting in the centre of the table, with candles stuck in it. And sitting beside it are a couple of parcels, wrapped in brown paper.

Once you’re done taking in your surroundings you look back at your family. They are looking at you, waiting to see your reaction.

“What is this?” you ask.

“Asriel told us that it is your birthday today,” says Toriel, “and we felt that we should celebrate.”

“So this is for me?”

They nod.

Asriel darts towards you and grabs your hand, leading you to the table. He sits you down in the seat closest to the presents. “Look at this, Chara,” he says, before summoning a small flame himself. He uses this flame to light the candles (there are 13) on the cake. Then he, and your parents, sing happy birthday to you.

You all have birthday cake for breakfast. You didn’t notice at first, but the cake is chocolate. Chocolate! You privately think that Toriel’s pies are a tiny bit better, which says a lot because chocolate is one of your favourite things.

Once the slices of cake are gone and the rest of it has been put away, you get to open your presents.

The first one is a ball of wool and some knitting needles. You don’t know how to knit, but you decide that you’re going to learn. Then you’ll be able to make stuff!

You can tell through the paper of the second one that it’s dvds of some kind. When you open it, you find that you’ve been given the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Not the extended editions, but that’s okay! You know what you’re going to do today!

You’re going to make your brother to watch these films.

The excitement of finally doing so fills you with determination.

***

“Asriel,” you say. You’re both lying in bed at the end of the day, having spent most of it watching the trilogy. You haven’t really had a chance to confront him yet.

“Yeah?” he responds.

“I thought I told you not to tell them when my birthday is.”

“Yeah, I know you did, but I couldn’t not tell them.”

“It probably wouldn’t’ve been  _ that  _ hard not to say anything.”

“But I had to! We can’t just ignore it!”

“I didn’t want to cause them any more trouble.”

“Don’t be silly, Chara. You’re family. It isn’t any trouble.”

“...family?” you whisper.

He doesn’t hear you, and, thinking that you said nothing, asks, “did you like today?”

Your brain hasn’t caught up. You’re still focusing on that word he used. You’d taken to referring to them as your family in your head, but you weren’t aware that they felt the same.

“Chara? Are you okay?”

Your brain catches up. “Yes, I’m fine, it’s just...”

“Just what?”

“I’m family?”

“Oh, well, of course, if you dont want to be, that’s fine, I didn’t mean -”

You interrupt him by laughing softly. “No. It’s good. I’d like that. Being family.”

“So did you enjoy today?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Did you like the cake?”

“Yes. You told them I like chocolate, you traitor.”

“But you’re glad I did?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you did.”

You lapse into a comfortable silence. It lasts for a few minutes. Then, you decide to speak.

“Azzy?”

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t actually had a birthday party before.”

“Huh? You haven’t? Not ever?”

“Never.”

“How come?”

You take a deep breath. “My family. Back on the surface. They didn’t really care about me. My mother told me that I wasn’t wanted pretty much every day. I only know when my birthday is because she tended to get really drunk and describe my birth to me, not because we celebrated. Apparently it was painful. And my fault.”

“It’s not your fault that she got hurt.”

“I know. I’ve looked this stuff up. It hurts  _ everyone.  _ But try telling  _ her  _ that.”

“She doesn’t sound very nice.”

“She’s not. And it was like I couldn’t do anything right, you know? I was always just the ‘mistake’. In the way. Or, their personal favourite, a ‘demon’. They called me a  _ demon _ , can you believe that?”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re a human. A child. You’re not a demon.”

You’re on a roll, now. “And I never had a bed. My first ever bed was when I came here. I spent 12 years spent sleeping on the floor. It wasn’t like they couldn’t afford a bed for me. They’re quite wealthy, you know. They just didn’t want to waste the time or effort it would have taken to get me one. And my father...” you stop, not sure if you even want to continue.”

“You don’t have to say, if you don’t want to.” Asriel says softly.

“Yeah, well, just know that he was worse. By a long way. You know that knife I always have with me? I started carrying that around because of  _ him.  _ Him and his friends. It’s a shame I never got to use it, in my opinion.”

“...why did you come down here?” asks Asriel.

“...I didn’t choose to,” you begin, “not really. One day my mother forces me to get in the car. Says we’re going on a trip. Takes me to the base on this mountain. And everyone knows the stories. Those that climb to the top of the mountain never come back. And we know why, they fall in the hole and die, don’t they? But yeah, she drove me to the base of the mountain. And she pulled me out of the car. And had the gall to be _crying_ , I mean, how dare she? And she just goes ‘I’m so sorry, I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility.’ And then she gets back in the car and stops me getting in and just goes ‘I’ll be right back’ before driving off. She _left_ me there. And do you want to know the best part? I believed her. I waited _all day_ for her to come back. _All fucking day._ And she never did. Neither did anyone else. I mean, only hikers ever really go near it, and even then they don’t climb that high. So it’s midnight and I’ve been abandoned and I don’t know how to get home so I just think ‘to hell with it, I’m going to climb this stupid mountain. It’s not like I have anything better to do.’”

You stop talking. Asriel doesn’t respond for a few moments, as if he needs some time to process this new information. Then, he asks, “why did you fall? You did  _ fall _ , didn’t you?”

“You think I jumped? I didn’t. It had taken hours to climb and I was tired and it was raining so I ducked inside this cave thing close to the summit. And there’s this hole there. And I did think about just throwing myself down it, but I didn’t. I  _ did _ , however, try to get a closer look. Big mistake. I tripped on a tree root. It’s a good thing you were nearby when I fell, or I’d be dead right now.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I’m glad that it happened though.”

“Huh?”

“That I got left there. Because if I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have fallen. And I wouldn’t be here. So I guess it worked out for the best.”

“I guess so.”

“...are you okay?” you ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just...” he pauses, before saying, “I promise nothing like that will ever happen to you again.”

“Thanks, Azzy,” you say. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Chara.”


	15. A Fool in So Many Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, just a transition chapter today. it's short and kind of a mess but, like chara, i am not patient and this story needs to get moving
> 
> warning for (very) temporary character death

You die for the second time in mid October.

It’s stupid, really. You slip while walking through Waterfall and hit your head on some rocks. It sort of reminds you of a film you saw once. You hadn’t enjoyed watching it very much. You enjoy living it (if that’s the right way to describe what’s happening) even less.

You watch your body float from the Void. You were in a pretty secluded area and there isn’t anyone else around, so you’re not worried that you’ll traumatise someone. Not that it would actually matter if you did. You can afford to take a short break from reality.

You still have no idea what would happen if you were to press RESET, or when you’ll wake up when you press CONTINUE. You may have to do the worksheet that Toriel made you do yesterday again.

You figure you shouldn’t complain. After all, you’re the one who wasn’t looking where they were putting their feet. This is entirely your fault, and you will deal with the consequences.

Sighing, you turn and press CONTINUE...

...and find yourself in the Snowdin Library, holding a book.

It’s yesterday. You _are_ going to have to do that worksheet again.

But you think you might have figured out what decides when you return to.

If you remember rightly, you’d wanted to read this book in the Golden Corridor. The prospect of doing so had filled you with determination. When you think about it, you remember that you’d felt determined at the other point that you’d returned to, as well. After the incident with the humans.

So if you get determined enough at a given point, you can create a new return point.

Or if you’re keeping with the video game analogy you worked out with Asriel, then that level of determination allows you to SAVE.

Good to know.

***

You curl up next to one of the pillars in the Golden Corridor and read the book cover to cover. You do this instead of going to Waterfall for the day. To say that it’s better than dying would do the book a disservice, but honestly it really is.

Almost anything is, really.

***

Learning how to knit isn’t that difficult. But you are not a particularly patient person. And knitting requires a level that you’re not sure that you’re capable of. You keep making mistakes and dropping stitches getting frustrated that the process isn’t _fucking faster_.

Asriel laughs at you. How dare he. You glare at him. He stops laughing.

This process repeats a lot.

***

It’s a few months before you finally finish your project. It was a long, arduous, and frustrating process. But you did it! You completed it! You achieved your goal!

It’s a bright pink jumper for Asgore. It says ‘Mr. Dad Guy’ on the front in a slightly darker shade. It would win every award on the surface for being ugly.

He’s flattered when you give it to him.

He wears it to every official meeting he has for a month.

***

There’s a family visit to the Science Labs at some point. You don’t get to talk to the Royal Scientist though. You and Asriel are told that he’s really busy. You catch a glimpse of him from a distance. He’s tall and pale and kinda creepy.

You decide that not getting to talk to him isn’t such a massive loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO my mother was unhappy with my exam results and school is starting up again soon so i can't promise when the next update will happen. i can promise that neither this nor my other ongoing fic will be abandoned. under any circumstances : )


	16. One Year On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually hate this chapter but i cba to rewrite it. i promise that it'll get better than this

The Golden Corridor becomes your go-to reading place. In order to make it more comfortable you put some cushions next to the pillar you sit by.

You often sit there reading for hours. It’s not uncommon for you to lose track of time, causing Asriel to be sent to drag you back to the main living area to eat. You even fall asleep there on more than one occasion. However, when this happens, you wake up back in your own bed with the book you were reading placed on your bedside table with your place neatly marked.

It’s little things like that that makes you love your monster family even more. Even if you had had a bed on the Surface, your ‘family’ there would never have done this for you.

But your monster family, your true family, don’t think twice.

They care about you.

Despite your being a human, which gives them every reason to hate you, they don’t.

It’s better than you’d ever dreamt could be possible.

***

They hold an Underground-wide celebration on the anniversary of your fall. It wasn’t a surprise party, this time. There was no way that they’d be able to keep it from you. In the weeks running up to it the whole Underground was brimming with excitement.

You aren’t sure that a Kingdom-wide party is entirely necessary. You fell down a hole.

And lived.

Apparently the monsters see that as some kind of big deal?

On the day of the anniversary, you and Asriel go for a walk around New Home. You haven’t really seen the city properly before, choosing instead to explore Snowdin and Waterfall. You have a feeling that you won’t get a good idea of what the city’s like normally by looking around it today, though, as all the streets have tables down the middle and there are  _ so many people.  _ It feels like the whole Underground has packed themselves into one area, and it feels like that on every street.

Clearly there were more monsters down here than you’d thought.

And they  _ all  _ want to meet you.

Monsters of all shapes, sizes, and ages approach you in rapid succession.

Some ask if you’re enjoying yourself, and say that they hope you’re having fun. Those are your favourites. They aren’t too overwhelming.

Some say that they feel like the Underground’s gotten better since you fell. You’re not entirely sure how to respond to that, so you just smile.

But there’s one conversation that marks a downward turn in the day.

You and Asriel are approached by a monster that looks like a jellyfish, but green. They stop in front of you and say “hi.”

“Howdy,” says Asriel.

“Greetings,” you say.

“I just wanted to ask,” says the jellyfish, “when you’re going to fulfil the prophecy?”

“What?” you ask.

“The prophecy. It says that someone who has seen the Surface will free us all -”

You interrupt them. “Yes, I know about it, I’ve seen the writing in Waterfall. What makes you think that I can do it?”

“Everyone’s waiting for you to do it”

You’re about to go on a massive rant when you feel Asriel’s hand on your arm. You let him guide you away from the jellyfish.

You hear more things along the same lines during the next couple of hours.

You don’t understand. For one thing, the prophecy specifies that this ‘Angel’ will ‘return’. And nobody except Asriel knows about the incident with the humans, so you haven’t ‘returned’ as far as they’re concerned. Plus, that prophecy is really menacingly-worded. There’s room for interpretation there, and you aren’t a fan of where your mind likes to take it.

But.

You  _ do  _ have the ability to get monsters out of the Underground. You could do it easily. Today marks a year of the possibility of monsters living on the Surface being there and it not happening. And that’s your fault.

They’ve done so much for you. Shouldn’t you do something in return?

Asriel guides you back home earlier than planned. He can see how the people’s words are affecting you.

Toriel and Asgore aren’t there when you get home. They’re probably still out talking to people.

Asriel takes you to your shared bedroom and pulls something out from under his bed. 

“I got you something.”

“Oh, Azzy, you didn’t-”

He interrupts you by pushing the parcel into your hands. His expectant look gives you no choice but to open it.

You carefully remove the paper to reveal a set of colouring pencils.

He begins to speak, causing you to look up. “We both know that it would go badly if you tried to get everyone out. Last time you tried, you  _ died _ . They had no right to say those things.”

“They said that I’m the only reason they have any hope.”

“Gosh, Chara, I can’t see inside their heads. I don’t know their lives. But for all their hope to rest on a 13-year-old, they must have some serious issues.”

That makes you laugh. Which makes him laugh, too.

You suddenly feel a lot better.


	17. Best Friends Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mention of death

“Azzy! Come look at this!”

You usually avoid this part of Waterfall. You died here, so you’re always a little paranoid that you’ll slip again.

But today you and Asriel decided to see what had collected in this area.

It was a good decision.

Asriel has something in his hands when he reaches you, but you decide to show him what you’ve found first.

“Look. It’s a camera. An actual camera. And it’s working, too! See? I can turn it on and off! It’s a fully functional camera!”

“That’s really cool, Chara!” says Asriel. “We have to show that to Mum and Dad when we get home!”

“They were talking about how their old one broke, weren’t they?”

“Exactly!”

You both smile at each other.

“Hey,” you say, pointing to his hand, “what’ve you got there?”

“Oh. I found these,” he says, and holds them up so you can see them.

He’s holding two heart shaped lockets. They look like they came in a set, similar to friendship necklaces on the Surface. The lockets are different colours, though. One is red and one is white. The white one is upside down. They both have identical golden writing on the front.

“What are these? What do they say?”

“I thought that, seeing as this one looks like my SOUL and that one looks like yours, we could each have the one that looks like the other’s SOUL,” he says, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice.

You reach out and take the white, upside down locket. You read the inscription.

‘ _ Best Friends Forever _ ’

You stare at it for a moment. Then, you carefully place the camera down behind you so that you have an easier time undoing the clasp of the necklace. Asriel watches you as you put it on.

Once it’s on securely, you say, “do you need help putting on yours?”

“So.... you like it?”

“Of course. It’s amazing. I love it.”

Asriel smiles, and you can see the relief on his face. “I think I do need some help.”

“Yeah, it can be kinda fiddly,” you say as you gesture for him to turn around. “It’s a lot easier if you can see what you’re doing. There. You can turn back now.”

He does. He’s wearing the red heart locket, that’s facing the right way up. The one that looks like your SOUL.

“I didn’t know that your SOUL is upside down,” you say.

“Well, whether it’s upside down or not really depends on your perspective. To me, your SOUL is upside down.”

“People draw heart symbols all the time on the Surface, and they draw them the same way up as my SOUL, making yours the one that’s upside down.”

You grab the camera and you both start to walk back towards central Waterfall. “I don’t see why that makes a difference,” he says, “because I don’t live up there and so I don’t see their versions of heart shaped stuff very often. As far as I’m concerned, your SOUL is the upside down one.”

This ‘conversation’ continues as you walk. No additional points are actually made. It occurs to you that you’re both being ever so slightly childish, but you don’t actually care. You’re having fun.

Right up until the moment where you slip.

It’s not as bad a fall as the one that killed you back in October. You just fall where were you were standing. You knee hurts a little, but it’s fine.

“OhmygoshCharaareyouokay?” Asriel bleats as he crouches next to you.

“Yes, Azzy,,” you respond as you stand. Asriel must see you wince because he grabs onto your arm to help you up.

“Your knee’s gone red.”

“Well, I did just fall on it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I didn’t die this time, so it’s no biggie.”

“Well okay, if you’re...” he trails off. Then, he says, “wait. This time? Did you die at some point?”

You hadn’t meant to say that. Oh well, you can’t hide it now. “I slipped and hit my head and fell in the river a few months back. It was my own fault. I didn’t lose much time though, so it’s okay.”

“You  _ died! _ That’s not okay, Chara!”

“I’m alright now,” you say, and resume walking. Your knee throbs a bit, but you can tell that the worst that’ll happen is a bruise.

After a few moments, you hear Asriel running to catch up with you. He doesn’t say anything, but you can hear him sniffling.

“Are you crying?”

He says nothing.

“Come on Azzy, big kids don’t cry over things like this.”

“You d-died and didn’t t-tell me. And now you’re h-hurt and-”

You step in front of him and turn to face him, stopping him from walking further.

“Would you cut it out already? There’s no need to be such a crybaby over it. I’m fine and that’s what matters. It’s not  _ your  _ fault and you’re not the one who’s hurt so what the hell are you snivelling for?”

To his credit, he does stop crying. He stares into your eyes. After a few seconds, you relax your gaze.

“Sorry,” you say, “I didn’t mean to snap. I get why you’re upset. But there’s nothing we can do about it so there’s no point crying.”

“Can I heal it?”

“Huh?”

“Your knee. It looks like it still hurts a little. Mum’s been teaching me some basic healing magic. Can I heal it for you?”

“Uh, yeah, if you want.”

Asriel kneels down in front of you and puts his hand onto your knee. You feel a slight tingling sensation, and the pain slowing disappears.

Once it’s gone, he stands back up. “How is it?”

“Much better, actually. Thanks Azzy.”

“Should we head home now?”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

You both start walking again.

“Hey, I’ve got a question,” you say.

“Shoot.”

“Can humans learn monster magic?”

“...I don’t know. Maybe. I mean, humanity must have some sort of magic available to them. They made the barrier after all.”

“I’ve never come across or heard of any real magic that definitely works for humans.”

“Maybe only some people can do it.”

“Maybe it’s a secret, with hidden communities dotted around the world.”

“Or maybe they’ve all just forgotten how to do it,” says Asriel.

“That’s probably the most likely scenario.”

“Mum or Dad might be able to help.”

“Okay, we’ll ask them,” you say.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“Curiosity and nosiness. I don’t care about doing magic myself, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You don’t?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“No.”

“At all?”

“Okay, it would be kinda cool,” you admit, “but I don’t care enough to want to learn.”

“It’d probably be better if I asked them without you there though.”

“If you want, but they’d still know that you’re asking because of me.”

“No they wouldn’t.”

“Azzy.”

“They would not!”

You look at him. He crumbles.

“Yeah, I guess they would.”

“You don’t have to ask. It doesn’t matter,” you say. He still looks kinda sad though.

What should you do to cheer him up? You can’t let him stay sad.

You have an idea.

You quickly tap your hand on his shoulder. “You’re it!” you yell, before running off.

You hear him laugh and start to run after you.

The thought of playing tag with your brother to cheer him up fills you with determination.

***

You’re both exhausted by the time you reach the castle.

As you walk through the courtyard, having declared your impromptu game of tag a draw, Asriel says, “if you die again, you’ll tell me, right?”

You think about it for a second. “Sure,” you say, “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i first saw the headcanons for chara's birthday and the appearance for their locket over [here](http://nochocolate.tumblr.com/) and i love them so much
> 
> also that blog is really interesting and i highly recommend giving it a read : )


	18. Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice

You walk into the kitchen with your sleeves rolled up and a goal in mind.

You want to make something for Asgore, so had asked Toriel if you could bake a pie for him. She’d said that you could, and had written down a recipe for you to follow. You can see it sitting on the counter.

You make your way over and read through it. It seems simple enough. Obviously you aren’t going to be able to completely recreate the perfection that is Toriel’s cooking, but if you follow the recipe perfectly it should still turn out good.

You reach for one of the cupboards to start getting out things you need. You hear the door behind you violently swing open.

“You were going to make something for Dad  _ without me? _ ”

“Greetings, Asriel.”

“Don’t you  _ greetings  _ me! You were going to bake without me!”

“Do you want to help?”

“Yes!”

“Then you could’ve just asked,” you say, smiling. “I haven’t even started yet. How about you get all the ingredients together while I get the bowls and stuff.”

“Okay!”

Any irritation he had gone in an instant, he reads the list of ingredients on the counter and busies himself with retrieving them. Laughing softly, so he can’t hear, you gather rest of the equipment.

“Chara, we have a problem.”

“What?”

“The recipe says ‘cups of butter’. I can’t find any.”

“There must be some,” you say. You push him away from the fridge and look inside yourself. There’s no way there’s no butter. He must’ve not been looking properly. There  _ has  _ to be butter here.

Where is it?

You slowly slide the fridge door shut. There is no butter.

“We can’t make the pie.”

“Wait,” he says, “I think we still can. Just wait a minute.” He runs out of the kitchen. You hear the front door open and close. He’s gone out into the courtyard for some reason.

A few minutes later he return clutching fistfulls of small, yellow flowers.

“Buttercups?”

“The name’s similar, right? We can crush them into a paste and it should work the same.”

“Won’t that taste weird?”

“Maybe, but we can just add loads of sugar to cover it up.”

You can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t try it. “Okay,” you say.

And in go the crushed buttercups.

***

Waiting for the pie to bake is boring.

So boring that it doesn’t take long for an all out flour war to start.

Toriel walks in on the pair of you flinging it at each other.

You can tell that she’s not overly pleased with the mess you’ve made. It’s something in her eyes, you think. And there is a lot of flour on the floor.

She doesn’t even have to say anything. Her mere presence makes you and Asriel stop and start cleaning up.

The kitchen’s clean again by the time the pie is ready.

Whatever. It was fun.

***

You can now think of a  _ very  _ good reason why you and Asriel should not have substituted in buttercups.

Asgore got sick shortly after eating his first slice of the pie. Really sick. He was shaking a lot and now you can hear him vomiting in the next room.

There’s only one thing that could’ve caused it.

Asriel appears to have come to the same conclusion.

“I’ll explain while you get rid of the pie,” he says once Toriel’s gone to check on him.

You nod in agreement, and grab the rest from where it’s sitting on the table. You throw it into the first bin you see.

You hear voices coming from the living room before you re-enter, so decide to go around. You do not want to walk in on  _ that  _ conversation.

You sit on your bed in your room.

A few minutes later, Asriel walks in.

The fur on his face is clearly wet, but the tears must’ve stopped some time ago.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“That it was an accident. We couldn’t find the butter and thought it wouldn’t make a difference. That we’re sorry and that it won’t happen again.”

“And?”

“She’s not angry. She said it was an easy mistake to make, but that we should be more careful.”

“Will Dad be okay?”

“Mum’s called a doctor and told them everything. Their on their way, but said down the phone that he should be. He only had one slice, so the dosage wasn’t very high. But he’ll be sick for a while.”

He sits down on your bed next to you.

Neither of you say anything for a while.

You try to suppress the bubble of laughter building in your chest.

You fail.

“Huh?”

You continue to fail.

“Chara, wh-what are you doing?”

If you had to guess why, you’d say that it’s because all this is completely unsurprising.  _ Of course  _ you’d end up hurting someone who actually cared about you. You clearly can’t do anything right.

Maybe your Surface family were right. Maybe you are a demon. If it weren’t for you, Asgore would be fine right now.

No, that’s not right. You aren’t a demon.

You’re a human.

You’d almost forgotten that small fact.

You’re human. And that’s even worse.

Now you’re laughing so hard it’s silent.

You feel Asriel place his hand on your back. “Are you alright?”

You catch your breath, and say, “I’m just fine! Everything is awesome and nothing is wrong!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You should.”

He wraps his arms around you and lies back onto your bed, pulling you with him.

“Azzy, what are you doing?” You’ve just about gotten your laughter under control by this point. Just about. The occasional giggle still slips out.

“I’m going to hold you here until you’re feeling better.”

“I’m  _ fine  _ Asriel.”

“Of course you are.” He doesn’t let go.

He ends up staying close to you like that the whole night. You don’t mind.


	19. Arts and Crafts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really want to have chara's part of this series done this week but school has actually started now so idk if that will happen. i'll try though : )
> 
> warning for planned death/suicide mention

Asgore wasn't sick for long.

You don't ask to cook or bake anything else, and Toriel doesn’t offer.

You're fine with that. 

You can't hurt anyone else that way. 

***

The start of an idea begins forming in your head

***

Your second birthday in the Underground is nice. Like the first, there's cake at breakfast (chocolate) which you still think isn't as good as the pies that Toriel makes. You resolve to tell her that you'd prefer a birthday pie in future. Still chocolate, of course.

Chocolate makes everything better.

You're given a proper sketchbook. Before you’d been drawing on scrap paper. Whatever you could find. But now you've got nice paper. Proper paper. And it's  _ yours.  _

You don't feel like you really deserve it, but whatever.

You sit on the floor and lean against the sofa in the living room and begin to draw.

After a while, Asriel sits next to you. He's gathered together a lot of dried macaroni and glue. You decide not to ask.

“What’re you drawing?”

Okay, now you're going to ask. Once you've answered his question. “A golden flower.”

“I’ve never seen a flower like that.”

“You wouldn't’ve. But they're  _ everywhere  _ on the Surface.”

“It's really pretty.”

“Yeah, humanity really doesn't deserve nature. These flowers are my favourite.”

“Even better than echo flowers?” he asks in mock horror.

You roll your eyes. “Fun as they are, yes. I prefer these. Anyway, what are  _ you _ doing?”

“Making some macaroni art for Dad.”

“Just don't get glue on my sketchbook, okay.”

“I won't, don't worry!”

When you're done drawing your flower, you carefully tear the page out of the book. You leave your pencils and sketchbook with Asriel and carry your drawing to your bedroom. You then stick it up by your bed. That way you’ll be able to see it every day.

There's not much you miss about your life on the surface, but you  _ do  _ miss those flowers. You haven't seen any since you fell. You didn't even get to see one during the Incident. Not one.

You hope that you’ll get to see them again some day. 

You sit on your bed. 

This idea of yours, it's pretty drastic. You know this. Logically, it would be for the best. The monsters would actually be strong enough to defend themselves. They could take the Surface back from humanity. The better of two races would rule. The world would be a much better place for it.

And you wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else.

Any ‘inconvenience’ it would cause you really doesn't matter. You're prepared to do anything for the greater good. For monsterkind. For your family. 

Aren't you?

Well, if you're going to do this, you can't do it alone. You'll have to involve Asriel. He won't like it though.

Whatever. You'll  _ make  _ him do it. Once you've started you won't stop, so he won't exactly have much choice but to go along with it. 

You can die with or without his help. 

He’ll absorb your SOUL either way. 

...

Maybe you should think about this for a bit longer. 


	20. Buttercup, Don't Break My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for talk (and beginning) of suicide

“Okay, Chara, are you ready? Do your creepy face!”

You turn from the flowers you're watering to face the camera that Asriel’s holding.

You smile. 

Widely. And without actual emotion behind it. 

Asriel squeals, then laughs. Your fake smile softens into a real one as you laugh softly along with him.

“Oh! Wait! I left the lens cap on,” he says. He looks at you pleadingly. You shrug, and turn back to the flowers. “What? You're not going to do it again?” You shake your head, still facing the other way. “Come on, quit tricking me!”

“I don't want to do it again.”

“But it looks really cool!”

“Really scary, more like. There's a reason we call it the ‘creepy’ face, Azzy.”

He puts the camera into his pocket and picks his watering can back up. 

“Azzy, are you  _ sulking? _ ”

“No.”

“Wow, you're totally sulking.”

“I am not!”

“Are too. I already knew you were a crybaby, but this takes it to new levels -”

“Stop being mean.”

“I'm not,” you say. “ _ You're  _ just being silly. It doesn't matter that much, you know.” You turn to face him.

He's still facing the other way. 

“Azzy.”

He turns towards you and puts his can down. What you were about to say is instantly forgotten. 

“Hey,” you say, “you're wearing the locket.”

“Course I am. So are you.”

You hold the white heart in your hand. “Yeah, I don't really ever take it off.”

“I don't take mine off either. I normally wear it under my clothes, though.”

“Same here.”

“How’ve we not noticed this before?”

“Our author must just be really disorganised, is all.” 

“Yeah, that's probably it,” says Asriel as he slips his locket back under his top. His face doesn't show signs of him still being upset, which you're relieved by. Smiling, he picks his watering can back up. “Shall we get on with this?”

You nod, and you resume watering the flowers in the gardens. 

***

When you're done with the flowers, you and Asriel sit close to where you started, where it's already dried so you won't get too wet.

You tell him about the Sun. About how it makes the Surface as bright as the gardens are, with an added warmth. He listens intently. Eventually you lapse into silence, and just lie there next to your brother. 

You're thinking about your ‘idea’ again. You know that if you're going to do it, you need to do it soon. Before people get so attached that your death would overshadow their freedom.

More importantly, you need to do it before you lose your nerve. 

“Howdy, Chara, smile for the camera!” He shoves it in your face. You smile weakly. “Ha! This time I got YOU! I left the cap on, ON PURPOSE! Now you’re smiling for noooo reason”

You push the camera away from your face and sit up. It's now or never. “Azzy, do you remember that pie we made?”

He sits up. “ What? Oh, yeah, I remember. When we tried to make butterscotch pie for Dad, right? The recipe asked for cups of butter, but we accidentally put in buttercups instead. Yeah! Those flowers got him really sick. I felt so bad. We made Mom really upset. I should have laughed it off, like you did... Um, anyway, where are you going with this?”

“Put that away.”

“Huh? Turn off the camera...? OK.” He fiddles with a few buttons and places it on the ground.

“I have a plan to free the monsters.”

“Didn't you try that though? Didn't it end badly?”

“We were just two weak kids. There was nothing we could do differently then.”

“So what's your idea?”

“Well, if a monster absorbs a human SOUL, they get really powerful, right?”

“...Theoretically.”

“Well, if you were to absorb my SOUL, you could leave the Underground. Then you could get 6 more really easily and break the barrier and free everyone and there'd be nothing humanity could do about it.”

“...What?”

“Think about it! You'd be super powerful with just mine, so even if they try and stop you they'd be no match. And when you have the other six you'll practically be a God. Humanity won't be able to hurt monsters ever again.”

“Chara! What are you talking about? How would I even absorb your SOUL?”

“I'd have to die, of course.” You talk quickly, so he can't see you hesitating. “I was thinking that I'd eat a load of buttercups. That way it’d look like I was just sick, so Mum and Dad won't get as upset about it. They can't know that I'm killing myself. I don't want to put them through that.”

“But what about me? I’d have to know! Why are you even considering this?”

“Because I need your help, Azzy. You need to be there when I die so you can get my SOUL quickly. It has to be you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the one I trust the most. I love Mum and Dad loads, but if anyone’s going to absorb my SOUL I'd rather it be you. Plus, you're like, immortal or some shit so it'll last longer with you.” He stares at you, so you continue. “Plus I can't get the flowers myself. They'll blister my skin and Mum’s sure to notice that. She'll get suspicious. Your fur should protect you, so I need you to get the flowers for me.”

“But -”

“And we have to do it soon. Today, even.” So you don’t have a chance to back out. “So you can be free as soon as possible.”

“I... I don’t like this idea, Chara.”

“...Are you crying?”

He wipes obvious tears away from his face. “Wh.. what? N-no, I’m not... ... big kids don’t cry.”

“It’s the only way.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

He doesn’t sound convinced. “You aren’t going to help me, are you?”

“No! I’d never doubt you, Chara. Never!”

You relax slightly. “You can’t tell Mum and Dad about it. It’s down to us. Only we can do this. We have to be strong.”

“Y... yeah! We’ll be strong! We’ll free everyone!” He pauses, then says, “I’ll go get the flowers.”

“Thank you.”

He get up and walks off.

You’ve decided that you’ll RELOAD if he tells someone. But you doubt he will.

He’s back with you before you know it, clutching a fistfull of small, yellow flowers. He  _ has  _ been crying, but you decide not to call him out on it. You’re about to kill yourself, after all. He’s allowed to be a little upset about it.

“Now, Azzy, before I eat these, we should sort some things out.”

“Okay.”

“Stay with me as much as physically possible. Don’t let anyone take you away. You  _ have  _ to be there when I die, or it’ll have been for nothing.”

“I’ll be there. Don’t worry.”

“Good, because that’s really important. Another thing is that you’ll have to bring me more flowers while I’m sick. You saw how Dad got better, right?” He nods. “Well that can’t be allowed to happen with me. I need to get worse, which means more flowers. Can I trust you to do that?”

He nods again. “What about the SAVE screen, or MENU screen, or whatever it is with the options?” he asks.

“It seems like time still passes while I’m there. I guess if I don’t press anything you’ll be able to absorb my SOUL.”

“What if you get stuck there?”

“Then I’ll just have to deal with it, won’t I?” He looks like he’s about to cry again. You take the hand not holding buttercups into yours, and say, “look, monsters getting back to the Surface is more important than my afterlife. If I’m not bothered about it, there’s no reason why you should be. Come on. I need to eat those flowers.”

He holds them up to your mouth, and you open it to accept them.

The thought of freeing the monsters, and hurting humanity in the process, fills you with determination.

...

Buttercups taste horrible. They taste really, really bad.

Oh well, soon you’ll be too dead to care, so it doesn’t really matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted chara's section to be done by tomorrow but life happened oops


	21. Dying

“Chara .. Can you hear me? We want you to wake up...”

“Golden flowers on the Surface”

“You cannot give up just yet...”

“How are you feeling, Chara?”

“Chara! You have to stay determined! You can’t give up! You are the future of humans and monsters!”

“It hurts.”

“My child, we need you to stay with us.”

“They are very ill, and I do not know what’s causing it.”

“I won’t leave them alone! You can't make me leave them!”

“Don’t give up hope!”

“You’ll pull through this. I know you will.”

“Psst... Chara ... Please... Wake up... I don't like this plan anymore. I... I... ... no, I said... I said I'd never doubt you. Six, right? We just have to get six... And we'll do it together, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> correction. chara's section WILL be up tomorrow. because there's no better way to celebrate their (headcanoned) birthday than with their death =)


	22. It's Going to be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for major (canonical) character death

‘CONTINUE’

‘RESET’

You stare at them both.

You’re dead, then.

You’re grateful. If you’re dead, it means you’re not vomiting or cramping or bleeding or whatever else those flowers did to you. Talk about a messy death. You weren’t expecting it to be  _ that  _ bad.

Also, if you’re dead, then your plan can finally happen.

You turn and look at your body. It’s lying in your bed. Asriel is standing, staring at it. Then, he reaches out to it.

You just see the beginning of a red heart (your SOUL) exiting your chest when you feel yourself being pulled from where you are.

When the sensation of being dragged around stops, you open your eyes to see...

Huh?

_ “Chara? Can you hear me?” _

You look down at your hands. Except... they’re not yours. They’re furry. And you can feel more fur all over your body.

And horns? You have horns?

Oh. Asriel.

_ “Chara!” _

_ “Yeah, Azzy, I can hear you,”  _ you tell him. You try to flex your fingers, and find you have as much control over the body as he does.  _ “I wasn’t expecting this.” _

_ “Me neither,”  _ he responds,  _ “but I’m glad you’re still here.” _

_ “I’m glad too.”  _ You slide the corpse that used to be you into your arms. You find that Asriel’s body is much stronger than you’d anticipated (because, you realise, absorbing your SOUL made him much more powerful) so carrying yourself isn’t hard. You walk through the castle towards the barrier.

People try and stop you. People try and talk to you. Asriel wants to say something to them, but you don’t let him. You keep walking.

When he protests, you remind him of what you need to do.

You reach the barrier, and stop. It’s Asriel who takes the first step outside.

He doesn’t know where he’s going from here. You let him look at the sky and surroundings as you make your way down the last part of the mountain and towards the centre of the village.

You locate the largest patch of golden flowers, right in the centre. You place your body down on them.  _ “Look, Azzy. That’s them! The flowers I told you about.” _

_ “You told everyone about those.” _

_ “...When did I do that?” _

_ “While you were sick.” _

_ “Oh. I don’t remember.” _

_ “Yeah, I can kinda tell. The seeds are sticking to me, though.” _

_ “They do that. It just means that you’ll leave a trail of beautiful things behind you!” _

Your discussion is interrupted by a cry from behind you. You turn, and see a small number of humans staring at you.

“No, it’s not what you -” Asriel begins to say aloud. The humans start to scatter, and you stop him from speaking.

_ “There’s no point.” _

The humans return. Now they have weapons. They begin to fire them at you.

You go to throw a fireball or something back at them.

Your hand doesn’t cooperate.

_ “Asriel...” _

_ “We can’t hurt them, Chara.” _

_ “We need six SOULs.” _

_ “I’m not killing anyone.” _

_ “They’re going to kill US!” _

Asriel doesn’t let you do anything. He calmly turns and picks your body up from where it’s resting on the flowers. He walks back towards the mountain. To the entrance of the Underground. The humans let him pass, but don’t stop firing.

_ “You’re getting us killed.” _

No response.

_ “You’re getting ME killed. You’re letting them kill me, Azzy.” _

_ “I don’t want either of us to hurt them.” _

_ “We need six of them to die to free the monsters. Just six! This could be over so quickly if you’d just let me-” _

_ “No, Chara. I’m not going to do that.” _

The betrayal stings. He knew what this would require. He knew! And then he chickens out after you’re already dead and you’re both being shot at. How stupid is he?

You can feel your shared body struggling to stay in one piece. You’d heard that monsters turn to dust when they die. Is that what’s happening now? Will you both turn to dust?

What’ll happen to your SOUL? What’ll happen to his SOUL?

You pass through the barrier, back into the Underground.

You’d said you didn’t care about your afterlife. That was a lie. Now that it’s an immediate issue you find you care a lot more.

He makes it to the middle of the throne room before he collapses. It’s a shame. You’d briefly hoped he’d make it to the Golden Corridor, but it was not meant to be. You think you can see Asgore and Toriel, but it makes no difference. He drops your body, falls to the floor, and lets himself turn to dust.

Lets you turn to dust.

Lets you both die.

You feel the body fade away.

***

You’re back at the MENU.

The options are gone.

No CONTINUE. 

No RESET.

Just black.

You can’t even view the real world like you used to be able to.

You’re stuck here.

In the Void.

Are you going to be stuck here forever?

You don’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...end part 1
> 
> the next fic in this series will be about the next human to fall, but there'll be a bit of a break first
> 
> thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this. it really means a lot : D

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me if there are any mistakes grammar-wise and i'll correct them. tags will likely be added and/or changed as the story develops
> 
> feedback and comments are appreciated : )
> 
> my tumblr is astralpenguin.tumblr.com


End file.
